2020

It's been a long time since I've written to this blog, but seeing as to how I don't seem to have another outlet, and I'd like to put this out there to albeit what is a very small group...

To put into perspective what a bad year 2020 has been...

In January, I lost who had been my best friend.  We weren't quite as close as we once were.  It had been difficult to watch someone so close succumb to mental illness.  To witness over time how a person could push away his friends, family, loved ones was difficult.  For it to have ended in his unexpected demise at 42 years old has left me shaken and insurmountably devastated.  As with many a pain, it has become more bearable with the passage or time.  However, some wounds never heal, and even if they do they leave behind an indelible scar that remains.  You may forget about it for awhile--Periods of time both long and short.   Yet it's always there as a reminder.
In fact only days earlier, I had gathered with a group of close friends, all of whom had either been pushed aside already, or were ominously soon-to-be.  But I digress, this isn't really about that time, forgive me.  Those who were there know how happy I was to be with them at that much better time.  How bittersweet it was to see them again too soon at the memorial...


In the midst of this, we've been planning my son's Bar Mitzvah.  Invitations and ridiculous trouble with the mail.  Meeting the the entertainment, the caterers, the rabbi, etc.  The time shuttling my son to and from the temple.  THE PAYMENTS!
To add to the stress, my wife is in the first year as a principal at an inner city elementary school.  She's beyond stressed.  I'm trying to be there for her, my son, my younger son who's doing AMAZING despite getting lost in the shuffle.  Trying to run a business, support my wife, plan a Bar Mitzvah, be a good father, it's tough in general, but lots of people do it.   Doing it while grieving for my friend added a ton of weight to the situation.

But, well hey, why not.  Let's throw in the Corona Virus COVID-19.

Now the Bar Mitzvah has been postponed.  The temple?  Closed all together due to having had positive test(s).  The caterer?  Well, what does that matter.  Keep an appropriate #SocialDistance.
If you have to be around other people, wear your gloves and mask.  A good N/P95 if you can find one! (you can't).  Maybe you'll find some toilet paper (out of stock) or some meat or chicken (out of stock). 

Now we're in self-isolation.  On the verge of all-out quarantine.  If I'm lucky, I'll still be able to pick up my groceries from the curbside pickup at my appointment--sometime next week (earliest I could get and damn lucky to get it).  I'm more optimistic that I'll be able to pick up the cake for my soon to be a #QuaranTeenager

But hey, it was a beautiful day today.  Went outside for a family walk/bike.  Kept an appropriate--you guessed it #SocialDistance from everyone else with similar ideas.  I mean a beautiful day.  Low to mid 70s, low humidity.  Yet somehow in some way, I managed to get caught outside for the 3 minutes that a stray shower POURED just overhead.

No folks, 2020 simply has NOT been my year.

Unique

Just a point of grammar that's been driving me crazy.  The word is "unique."  This word is very much like the word "dead."
Let me fill you in.  Something or someone is either unique or not unique.  There is no kind of unique or very unique, etc. I'm reminded of Miracle Max in the movie, "The Princess Bride," who said something along the lines of--this man isn't dead--he's only mostly dead!
You're either dead or alive.  There are no degrees of dead.
Unique is very much the same.  The very meaning of unique is one of a kind.  So unique simply doesn't exist.  It's either unique or it's not.
To say that something is very unique would be to describe a woman as a little bit pregnant.  It simply doesn't work.  I'm sure that Vizzini would agree--such misuse is inconceivable!!!

Overimbibed

Suffice to say, when the manager of an establishment has to board a shuttle bus departing a wedding to ask if you specifically made it onto said bus and if you think you're ok to make it back to the hotel, you've probably overdone it. 

The Man With The Yellow Hat

I was unable to provide answers when my son questioned me as to the nature of the relationship between Curious George and the man with the yellow hat.

Leave Your Shirt On

I was present for the Phish 2 day run at Jones Beach over the 4th of July this past week.  There's something bothering me that I just have to vent about.  We're all together in this thing called life.  There's this thing called a society, and being part of one includes you in a certain code of ethics that need to be followed.  Having said that, one of those things applies to concerts:
Wear your shirt!
We are all pressed together in fairly close quarters, and it is a violation of basic decorum to go shirtless during a concert.  I'm not talking about an outdoor GA lawn venue, where your are free to hang out in the back away from the masses and generally subscribe to a looser code.  I'm addressing a venue with seats, where bodies are basically cramped in tight side by side, front and back.  There is a certain social credence, by which we have consideration for our fellow persons.  This pertains to wearing your shirt at a concert.  I don't strictly direct this to the fat, hairy, sweaty men.  This is directed to all people--even you, Mr. "I spend 20 hours a week at the gym."  This also includes women, of all ilk.  Don't get me wrong, I'm a fan of the female form.  However, there is a time and place for everything, and a concert is a time and place for the shirted.
The shirt is the basic fiber that allows for the separation of your sweaty body from other persons who don't want anything to do with your excretion of bodily fluids.  Violating this social contract is simply poor form.  I understand that is unconscionably hot outside.  I understand the desire to get cool by the simple removal of one's shirt.  I also understand that this is not a beach or a swimming pool, and that there must be a consideration for others.
Just think about it.  You're at a concert, your dancing, or listening, or just doing your thing.  The music is flowing.  You're finding your groove.  Just then, a sweaty, hairy shoulder blade slides across your forearm.  That's it.  Just like that the groove is shaken.  Sure it's only a temporary moment, and you're sure to shake it off.  But that moment did not have to happen if the guy next to you would simply leave his shirt on!
End rant...

Products That Work 2

Recently, I acquired an iPad 2. There are several cover options, but the one I've found to be not only the best product, but also the best value was: click me.

This cover, from monprice.com is a better designed, less expensive version of apple's own smart cover. This cover offers protection for the back of the device--whereas the apple smart cover only protects the front of the device. Also, this product clips on securely and stays on, unlike apple's version which with its flimsy magnetic clip on design, falls off constantly.

Just like apple's version, this cover offers a magnetic cover that turns the device on and off when it is opened and closed. It also folds to provide both an upright stand and gently angled keyboard stand.

Do yourself a favor. Buy the better product, and save yourself a few dollars. The monoprice version is about $10, while the apple version ranges from $30-$55.

Houston Texans

I feel pretty bad for the Houston Texans. With Peyton Manning likely out for the season, and the Colts off to a dreadful start, this was their big chance to win their division and make a little noise in the playoffs. All of a sudden, a "hurdle" in the road of their top wide receiver.--Now a tough, season-ending injury to Mario Williams, not only one of their best defensive players, but arguably one of the top 10 defensive players in all of the AFC, if not the NFL.
The AFC South now looks to be a two team race with the Titans, with Jacksonville down in the dumps, with no hope at all of getting rescued by a Hall of Fame quarterback in this season or the next.

Products That Work

It's been way too long since I've posted anything here, but I was so psyched by a new product I purchased that I just had to share. I have a Weber Genesis Gold B natural gas grill, circa 2005. This was the closest I got to finding it for you to see, so here goes. The grill does everything I need it to do, which goes well beyond the scope of this post, but let's just say, I really have this grill down, using a variety of cooking techniques.
On Friday, I was checking out a fairly local grill store, and came across the Weber Grill Out Handle Light. I purchased mine for $25--though it can be found online for $20.
I have to say, it assembled quite easily, and it provides a pretty solid light. I may consider adding a second, but that may be overkill, and it may crowd the handle which would make opening and closing the grill unnecessarily cumbersome.
The grill has a simple push button on/off control, and it can be moved and redirected with minimal effort. It also has a powersave feature. The light goes into a standby mode when the cover is closed. Apparently, there is some kind of level mechanism in the light so that it comes on when the lid is open, and dims when the lid is shut. The light does remain on slightly in standby mode, so the batteries (3 AAA) would drain if left on overnight. However, it does make using the light easier during an evening of cooking, without having to turn it on/off and not having to worry about draining the battery. Just remember that the last step in cleaning the grill at the end of the evening is to make sure that light is off. Problem solved.
The light seems to work so well, that I'll have very little need for my older grill light, which was solid, but had to be taken out and set up each time. With this new light, it's simply there whenever I need it.

Thoughts on the NFL

I have been reading about the NFL and the desire of ownership to move from a 16 to an 18 game season. Aside from the obvious risk to player safety and career longevity, which are in obvious contrast to the leagues public stand on making the game "safer," what Roger Goodell doesn't seem to realize is that fans aren't complaining about the 4 game preseason. We are complaining about being charged regular season prices for exhibition football.

I can only speak for myself, but I don't want to commit to more NFL games before Labor Day. One thing that's great about football is that it brings an excitement to the end of summer/beginning of fall and that carries us into winter. I don't want to cut short my summer BBQs or vacation plans because of the NFL.

Additionally, it's not the starters that benefit from the preseason. Teams need time to round out their rosters with 2nd and 3rd string players, and to establish special teams. The preseason is crucial for this. An 18 game season does not help with anything other than helping the owners justify lining their pockets with cash.

I can't fight the feeling that we're moving to our first NFL work stoppage in a very long time, as billionaires fight with millionaires over how to carve the golden goose.

A Simple Cashier Tip

When handing out change, always hand over the coins first. This way, they can fall into the palm of the recipient's hand. If you hand over the paper money or receipt first, and then try to hand the coins, they always slide off of the paper onto the ground.

This may sound silly, but it's just a helpful tip.

Thought of the day

If masturbating makes people go blind, does this explain why there are so many terrible drivers on the road?

God is a Woman

God is a woman. If God were a man, semen would be fruit juice flavored.

A Complete Waste

I'm sure that most of you, like me, recently received a letter from the United States Government, telling you about the upcoming 2010 Census. This letter more or less tells us about the importance of the census and how it is used in part to determine the appropriation of government funding to various areas of our country.
Why is the letter at all necessary? Why do millions of dollars in postage, paper, man power, etc. have to be wasted to inform us that this census is arriving in about a week? Couldn't they just mail the census and attach an explanatory cover letter? Couldn't this be done in all one mailing without wasting millions of dollars in taxpayer money?
All of this revenue could have been so much better utilized. In fact they could have justified the letter if they included some kind of a link that allowed the general public to sign up for an electronic version of the census. Just by "going green" we could have saved an exorbitant amount of money in postage and paper by not mailing the census to those of us who'd be willing to do this online.
Unfortunately, this is yet another example of the shortsightedness of our democratically elected leaders and government employees at large. A mailing to notify us to expect a future mailing... Please!

Always Recognize Your Dope

It's important to realize that when you're checking out at a grocery store, it's not always the shortest line or the emptiest cart that should determine which line you choose. Always try to recognize your dope, if possible, and avoid him or her accordingly.
There is not always a rhyme or reason for accomplishing this. It is an acquired art that comes with time and experience, though there are certain things you can look out for in trying to help yourself.
Things to avoid:
1. The Coupon Queen: If you are on line and see that the person ahead of you has a stack of coupons thicker than a George Costanza wallet, choose a different line. This person will inevitably have coupons for items that aren't even being checked out or that have expired. This person will argue the validity of said coupons to the point that you'd almost pay the alleged difference just so you can get on with your life. Trust me, this is almost always a losing battle.
2. Non English Speaking: This person will always have some kind of question for the cashier, but will be unable to communicate effectively, thus making what should be a quick transaction into the time equivalent of a 5 year old trying to solve a Rubik's Cube.
3. The Cell Phone Bandit: This person feels that his/her nonsensical conversation is more important that paying any attention to checking out his/her groceries. This is quite often the same person that offers no help in bagging anything and cops an attitude in blaming the cashier and just about anyone other than themselves for the transaction taking so long. This person can be found huffing and puffing, not recognizing that they are in fact the dope that caused this situation.
4. The Fumbler: This is the person who after everything is rung up is only then prepared to organize everything that the non-dope has done in advance. This person will rummage through bags and/or pockets for coupons, a shopper's price card, etc. This is also very often the same person who will take several minutes to find his/her checkbook after everything is rung up because they were too busy not bagging groceries and/or talking on a cell phone and/or just plain watching the world to go by to do so in advance. YOU KNEW YOU WERE CHECKING OUT YOUR GROCERIES, AND YOU KNEW YOU WERE GOING TO PAY BY CHECK--GET YOUR F*CKING CHECKBOOK OUT IN THE FIRST PLACE YOU DOPE!!! DON'T EXTEND THIS EVENT AN EXTRA 10 MINUTES!
5. The Wrangler: This person has kids who are either out of control and trying to ring up magazines, candy, and gum while the wrangler tries futilely to maintain control. This often leads to many of the events listed above. The advanced wrangler will arrive at the checkout counter falsely prepared. They will invariably have an item that they do not want, or have forgotten an item that they intended to purchase. It is only at the last possible moment that the wrangler will send the child back out into the store to pick up/exchange last minute items, without a care in the world that the process is holding up the entire line. This late hunt will not be performed during the early stages of checkout, but rather once all of the other items are near having been or have been checked out in entirety.
6. The Express Line Bandit: This person will have far too many items at the express lane, demonstrating a complete disregard for market decorum. I'm sorry, but it's 10 items or less, not 10 categories or less. A gallon of whole milk, a gallon of skim milk, and a pint of heavy cream are 3 items, not one! A little word to the wise, here. The cashiers at the local supermarket do not get paid nearly enough to handle these confrontations on their own. It is up to you to police this nonsense! It is completely acceptable, if you see an express line bandit, to call him/her on it. You do not have to take it! You are well within your right to tell that person that they have far too many items for the express line, and you are not going to acknowledge their presence in that particular line. You may do this with a brief verbal exchange, accompanied by simply going right in front of them and standing your ground. This particular person usually realizes that they are a dope, but are simply not used to being called on it. Have no fear, you will prevail!

While I'm sure there are other such situations and criteria, it is my hope that this will provide a basic introductory tutorial as to how to make your shopping experience less stressful, and more efficient.

Potential vs. Reality.

Potential vs. Reality.

A father was trying to explain to his teenage son the difference between potential and reality. Having difficulty he came upon a brilliant thought.

He called over his 18 year old daughter and asked, "Honey, I'm trying to explain something to your brother. For argument sake, would you have sex with Zac Efron for $50,000?"
"Duh!" exclaimed the daughter, "That's a no-brainer--of course I would!"
"Thanks dear, that will be all."
The son was quite puzzled by this, but the father assured him that his point would be made.
"Excuse me, dear," dad called to his wife, "I"m trying to clarify a point to your son. Just so he can understand something, I need you to answer honestly. Would you have sex with George Clooney for $50,000?"
"Hmm..." thought the boy's mother. "I don't want to upset you dear, but in order to be fair, that's quite a sum of money, and I can't say that the thought of sex with George Clooney is exactly a turnoff. Please don't be mad, but my honest answer is, Yes."
"Thank you. I"m not mad at all. I appreciate your honesty. That will be all."

When the father and son were alone, the son admitted to his dad, "I'm not sure I really understand."
"You see," said the father, "Potentially, we're sitting on $100,000, but in reality, we're living with a couple of whores."

MSG with Tom Marshall

"Who the heck is Tom Marshall?" you may ask. Tom is the singer/songwriter responsible for many of the lyrics behind about 100 Phish songs. "Why do I care?" would be a likely follow-up question.
Well, I had the pleasure of sitting right next to Tom during the opening set of the Thursday, December 3rd Phish show at Madison Square Garden. In fact, before I even recognized who he was, Tom was kind enough to inform me that I was 'squatting" in his seat and would have to move. It was my friend, Jeremy, who was kind enough to point out that it was in fact the Tom Marshall next to whom I was now sitting.
I took the liberty of telling the history of how I met my wife. On July, 16th, 1999, I met my wife on the lawn of the PNC Arts Center in Holmdel, NJ. Surely enough, it was at a Phish show. I took the liberty of telling Tom how at that very show, the band called him onto the stage to sing as they backed him in their cover of Bruce Springsteen's "Born to Run."
"That was me!" exclaimed Tom.
"I know," I replied, "I was there!"
Super nice guy. Tom was just as interested as my group as to what songs the band would play that night, and he was really into the show. A family man, he was there with his wife and 2 children. In fact, one of my highlights of the night, as we debated between songs what the band would play next, I was tickled to hear Tom say that he hoped they would not play "Time Turns Elastic," a newer composition that much of the fan base has not supported to this point.
As my good friend Jeff texted to me from the show, Time Turns elastic was a chance for him to use the bathroom, grab a soda, and check the out of town sports scores, all while returning to his seat on time to catch the end of the song.
Alas, Tom Marshall and his family disappeared during the set break and did not return. Despite my telling several would be squatters that they could not stay next to us in our section, that in fact they were in "the Marshall Family seats," a 2nd set with the Marshalls was not to be. Of course, Jeremy took a quality photo of me sitting in Tom's seat during set break. Unfortunately, we never took an actual picture of Tom himself...
Oh well!

Disappointing Phish Show

Went to see Phish in Philadelphia on Wed November 25th. Left from north Jersey about 3:30, and the traffic was murderous. This was to be expected traveling on one of our nation's most densely traversed roadways on what is notoriously the heaviest travel day of the year--Thanksgiving Eve.
I didn't mind the journey. The delays were expected; I had the day off from work, and a long weekend ahead of me. Not only that, but I had my wife in the car with me--alone time and adult conversation has become the exception rather than the norm, both with full time jobs and a 2 year old child to raise.
Surely a longer than expected drive to see my favorite rock and roll band would prove a fruitful experience!
Unfortunately, it just was not to be. The show had potential, and its energetic moments, but overall, was uneven. Just as they would build up the momentum, they would somehow find a way to break stride, leaving this fan underwhelmed.
Perhaps my travels took more of a toll on me than I care to admit. Perhaps I'm getting older and don't quite have the energy of my youth. However, having listened to a couple of other shows from Fall Tour 2009, I can't help but feel a little gypped.
Good thing I have a three night run at MSG this week, which is sure to turn my frown upside down!

I simply haven't kept up with this site, and I was racking my brain to figure out why...
I have ideas all of the time, and I certainly have more than my share of random ideas, thoughts, and impertinent brain strokes. I realized that my ideas rarely come when I'm sitting by my computer.
I may start applying my idea I had for my business towards my blog, but I don't know if I want to put that kind of effort into it. When I first started my business, I found that I could rarely sleep, undisturbed, through the night. The powerful thoughts of my subconscious mind would jog me awake in the middle of the night. At first, I suffered from insomnia, as my mind raced a mile a minute, sending me into near panic attacks from the thoughts that overwhelmed me. I would have such clear and insightful thoughts as to how to manage my life and business that would only occur to me in a sleep cycle. The ideas and thoughts would come to me so clearly, but I would lose them if I fell back to sleep. The fact that I would wake up in the morning, knowing I had forgotten the significant and useful ideas that had occurred to me in the middle of the night eventually lead to my insomnia. I began to panic that my thoughts and ideas that would be so useful and insightful to me would be lost. I was reminded of the Phish song, "Sleep:"

I can't describe the feeling when

I'm in my bed asleep and then
I wake up with a vision blurred
And all my efforts are detered
To reconstruct this image lost

There're certain things my mind must do
and even though they're very few
The image glistens like a gem

Repairing is not one of them
So I'm awake though in my mind
The image that's so unrefined
is calling to me from the deep
and tempting me to fall asleep

However, unlike the song, the fact that I would constantly forget my solid thoughts and ideas began to keep me awake to the point that the exhaustion began to bog me down. So, I came up with a brilliant idea. I decided to keep a notebook on my nightstand. When I woke up in the middle of the night with my thoughts and ideas, I would jot them down in the book. Not only were my thoughts and ideas captured on paper, but the peace of mind established in knowing this allowed me to fall peacefully back to sleep.
Come the morning, I could review my notes and implement them.
Unlike the Seinfeld episode where Jerry writes an illegible note that's of little use to him:

Jerry: Excuse me, Tor. May I ask you a question? You have intuitive abilities. You're in touch with a lot of this cosmic kind of things... I have this note I can't read. I was wondering if...
Tor: (Takes the note, laughing upon reading) Oh, yes-yes... Cleveland 117, San Antonio 109."

My notes were not jumbled nonsense, but quite useful. Supplies that needed to be ordered, phone calls to be made, appointments to be scheduled, etc.

So, I suppose the point of my pointlessness is that if I start to write down my random thoughts as they occur to me, I'd have more to blog for my loyal followers--who only exist in my own mind anyway... :-)

Who would you rather have lunch with?

J. K. Simmons
Richard Simmons
Gene Simmons


Personally, I'd go with J. K. Simmons.

All 3 are independently wealthy, and I'm sure quite interesting people, though I'd have to pick J.K. for a few reasons.

1. Richard is most likely to make you feel guilty about what you ate.
2. Richard is most likely to show up in those all-too revealing short shorts that leave far too little to the imagination.
3. Gene is the front man for Kiss, makers of the Kiss Kasket and other such collectables all sold for ridiculous profit. Hence this makes my think that Gene might be cheap and least likely to pick up the tab.
4. Richard has that annoying grating voice that might make conversation unbearable.
5. Gene may do something with his outrageous tongue, like drop it in the bread bowl or something.

J.K. has a nice voice, and aside from playing a raping white supremist on OZ, seems like a pretty chill guy.

Yeah, if I had to make this choice, I'd go with J.K.

Don't bother with RadioShack

Best site on the internet for cables/wires/etc?

monoprice.com

Seems to cheap to be real, but I assure you, it is. Need an HDMI cable, but don't feel like spending $50 at Best Buy? Why not get one from monoprice for less than $10?

Just a helpful tip...